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me: tumblr is so depressing.
me: there's a cute relationship i'll never have
me: food i can't make
me: why can't i be that pretty
me: I WANT THOSE CLOTHES
me: wow just bring up those old feelings, thanks
me: why do i even come on here??
me: scroll
me: scroll
me: ooo reblogging that
4 hours ago ・ 17453 notes

Shurik has realized that if he ever asks me to check anything I will go OCD over it. Yet he still asks. Case in point: today, when he asked me to check his shave for his job interview.

I ended up completely reshaving him.

Thank goodness he is unfailingly patient.

4 hours ago ・ 1 notes

"Art is about sucking less than the last iteration."

- Shurik, watching The Shining with me

15 hours ago ・ 0 notes
Shurik: I just came up with a quote.
Me: ...for Tumblr?
15 hours ago ・ 1 notes

(Source: lexireneee, via helloo-sweetiee)

15 hours ago ・ 125772 notes

"It’s like a matriarch, but with a derpface."

- Shurik

17 hours ago ・ 0 notes

(734): I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted

(Source: textsfromlastnight.com)

17 hours ago ・ 0 notes

(734): Walk of Shame today included voting.

For Shurik.

(Source: textsfromlastnight.com)

18 hours ago ・ 0 notes

(734): It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

For Shurik

(Source: textsfromlastnight.com)

18 hours ago ・ 0 notes

(734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

(Source: textsfromlastnight.com)

18 hours ago ・ 0 notes